Dear Delta Human Resources,
Good afternoon. I’m a natural lefty and I am applying for a job to fly a plane. I’m looking for a stable career in air flight travel to get people where they want to go safely.
I’m more than qualified, I have a great attitude and I’m a real go-getter. I’ll go out of my way to make sure that all flyers are buckled and seated properly. I’ll help out the flight attendants by letting them know when the air is rocky or we are flying over something exciting, like an ocean, and even provide an historical perspective of that ocean. For example, let’s say we are flying over the Atlantic Ocean. I’ll say something like, “We are flying over the Atlantic Ocean. This is the water that many beaches along the coast are all too familiar with.” I’ll say stuff about fish that swim through that ocean and if we see any i’ll point them out.
My hobbies include buckling up and i just adore aviator sunglasses. I’ll come to work early and do my very best. I’ll even stay after and do paperwork if required.
I never panic during turbulence and that’s the kind of pilot that you need manning your plane and I’m not afraid of global warming. I’m the rock on the plane when the flight gets rocky. i’ll even bring my own snack and wont come to work with a hang over. I don’t do drugs of any kind.
As far as me being lefty, that means that I’m better prepared to handle the controls on the left side of the plane than anybody that happens to be righty. I look forward to flying your planes.
Thank you very much.